I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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