the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
