yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
