READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
