if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
