I'm really into asian looking animals
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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