Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
