You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
