it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
even my farts smell like vagina
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
