i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
