Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
