i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
