so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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