garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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