I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
