I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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