so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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