Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
