I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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