The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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