Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
