so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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