You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
