what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Two words: blizzard sex
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
