i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
My vagina just clenched in fear
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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