The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
