okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
