i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
My dad is sitting where you rode me
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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