according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
