i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Randomize
