why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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