i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
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