dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
