Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
