My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
