mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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