so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
