Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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