I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
