Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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