me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
