she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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