ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
