I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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