So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
