belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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