That's intense
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
