I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
