I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
