bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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