U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
